From the start, I sensed that my mother-in-law, Denise, didn’t really approve of me. While she wasn’t overtly rude, there was always this subtle undertone of disapproval, as if I was just a temporary phase in her son Julian’s life. I often felt like I didn’t quite belong in their family dynamic.
So when Julian invited her over for dinner one evening, I didn’t expect much to change. What did surprise me, however, was her behavior once she arrived. Just as we were about to sit down for dinner, she suddenly received a phone call that interrupted our plans.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she said dramatically, holding up her phone. “It’s my manager—I have to take this.”
Julian looked disappointed but nodded. “Of course, Mom.”
As she stepped away from the table to take the call, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.
Discovering the Deception
As Denise pressed the phone to her ear and stepped away, I noticed something odd. The screen didn’t show a typical call screen. There was no timer, no missed call notifications, and no sign that she was actually speaking to anyone. Instead, her front camera was open, showing her own face in a confused reflection.
She quickly fumbled with the phone, trying to turn it off, but it was too late. I had already seen everything.
I turned to Julian, but he hadn’t noticed. I was now at a crossroads—should I confront her right then and there, or let it slide? The tension was palpable, but instead of calling her out immediately, I chose to keep my cool. With a smile, I asked, “Oh no, Denise, are you sure you have to go? We made your favorite—lemon herb chicken.”
She hesitated for just a moment, her fingers tightening around the phone. It was clear she knew I had caught her in the act. But she was committed to her story now. She quickly recovered and responded, “Yes, unfortunately. I just—I have to handle something urgent at work. You know how it is.”
Julian, still unaware of the situation, smiled and said, “Of course. We’ll do this another time.”
Denise nodded quickly, grabbed her purse, and left in a hurry.
Bringing It Up with Julian
After dinner, I casually mentioned the incident to Julian. “Did you notice anything weird about your mom’s call?”
He looked confused. “What do you mean?”
I didn’t want to escalate things unnecessarily, but I also didn’t want him to keep excusing her behavior. “She wasn’t actually on a call. Her front camera was open.”
Julian blinked, clearly surprised. “What?”
I shrugged. “I saw it. She faked the whole thing.”
For a long moment, Julian didn’t react. But then he let out a small chuckle. “I don’t know whether to be annoyed or impressed.”
I was relieved he wasn’t angry with me for pointing it out. “So what do we do now?”
Julian thought for a moment before a mischievous glint appeared in his eyes. “We invite her again.”
Testing the Waters
The following week, Julian invited Denise over for another dinner. This time, we made a special effort—her favorite meal, a beautifully set table, and even a dessert she loved. I wanted to see if she would pull the same stunt again.
Sure enough, as we were about to sit down, her phone “rang.” She barely glanced at it before standing up. “Oh dear,” she said, frowning at the screen. “It’s work again. I really hate to do this, but—”
This time, Julian smoothly cut in. “Oh, no worries, Mom. We’ll wait.”
Denise blinked, a little thrown off. “Oh, no, it’s fine. I don’t know how long it’ll—”
“No problem at all,” I added, offering a sweet smile. “We don’t want you eating cold food, so we’ll just hold off until you’re done.”
She stood there for a moment, clearly unsure of how to handle the situation. “Uh… well… it might be a long call.”
Julian leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “That’s fine. We’ve got time.”
Denise hesitated, clearly calculating her next move. Would she fake a full conversation? Pretend to be on the phone for a longer time? Or would she admit she had been caught?
Finally, after a long pause, she sighed and set her phone down. “Alright, fine. You got me.”
Understanding Her Fear
Julian raised an eyebrow, surprised. “Mom, why?”
Denise let out a deep breath, looking exhausted. “I just… I didn’t think you’d notice.”
I softened a little, realizing this wasn’t just about the phone call. “Notice that you faked a call? Or notice that you don’t actually want to be here?”
Her face flushed, and she looked away. “It’s not that I don’t want to be here. It’s just… I’m used to it being just Julian and me. And it’s different now. I know that sounds ridiculous, but sometimes it feels like I’ve lost my son.”
Julian sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Mom, you haven’t lost me. But I have a wife now. We’re a team.”
Denise nodded slowly. “I know. And I know you love her. I just… I guess I felt like if I didn’t come, you’d eventually stop inviting me.”
It became clear to me then. For all her faults, Denise wasn’t trying to be malicious—she was just struggling to adjust to the new dynamics in Julian’s life. She was afraid of being replaced.
I reached for her hand, offering her comfort. “Denise, you don’t have to pretend. If you need time to adjust, that’s okay. But I want you to know—you’re always welcome here. We want you here. Not out of obligation, but because we actually want to spend time with you.”
She swallowed, her eyes looking a little misty. Then, with a small nod, she said, “Okay.”
Dinner that evening was the first real, genuine conversation we’d had. It wasn’t perfect, and she wasn’t overly warm, but she tried. For the first time, it felt like maybe—just maybe—she was beginning to see me as a permanent part of Julian’s life, and not just a temporary phase.
The Lesson Learned
It was clear to me that relationships, even with family, are complex. Sometimes, people act out not because they don’t care, but because they’re afraid of being left behind. Denise had faked calls to avoid spending time with us, but at the heart of it, she was afraid of losing her place in Julian’s life. Once we called her out—not with anger, but with understanding—things began to change.
Relationships are never easy. They require patience, honesty, and a willingness to see beyond the surface. At the end of the day, everyone just wants to feel like they belong. And sometimes, it takes a little strategy and a lot of heart to bridge the gaps and make someone feel truly accepted.
