Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise’s marriage lasted for 11 years, filled with highs and lows that shaped their personal lives. The pair met in 1989 while working on the film Days of Thunder. Nicole, then 21, quickly caught Tom’s attention despite his marriage to Mimi Rogers. Not long after, Tom divorced Mimi and married Nicole.
Nicole dreamed of starting a family with Tom, and the couple soon tried to have children. Tragically, Nicole suffered an ectopic pregnancy early in their marriage, which took an emotional toll on both. Turning to adoption, they welcomed a daughter, Isabella “Bella” Jane, in December 1992, and later, a son, Connor Anthony, in January 1995. Both children were adopted through Tom’s Church of Scientology.
Their marriage faced yet another tragedy when Nicole suffered a miscarriage in 2001. That same year, Tom filed for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences. Following the divorce, their children stayed with their father and the Church of Scientology, creating a rift between them and Nicole.
Nicole Kidman Reflects on Marriage and Its Complexities
While Nicole and Tom rarely discuss their marriage publicly, Nicole has shared some insights into the complexities of their relationship. In a 2021 interview with Harper’s Bazaar, she laughed off the scrutiny they faced as a couple. Additionally, in a 2018 essay for New York Magazine, she candidly addressed the dynamics of being married to someone as influential as Tom:
“I married for love, but being married to an extremely powerful man kept me from being sexually harassed.”
The Role of Scientology in Their Marriage
One of the most influential aspects of their marriage was Tom’s commitment to Scientology. Nicole initially made efforts to embrace her husband’s faith, even studying the religion’s teachings. However, according to journalist Tony Ortega, her enthusiasm for Scientology seemed lukewarm.
Nicole’s hesitations were likely tied to her upbringing. Her father, Dr. Antony Kidman, was a prominent psychologist, a profession that Scientology openly opposes. Over time, Nicole’s dissatisfaction with Scientology’s leadership, particularly its head, David Miscavige, led her to distance herself from the church.
Two years into their marriage, Nicole left the faith, and Tom appeared to side with her, which reportedly strained his ties with Miscavige. According to former Scientology executive Marty Rathbun, efforts were made to pull Tom back into the fold, potentially leading to the marriage’s breakdown. Ultimately, Nicole lost custody of their children, who remained with their father and the church.
The Strained Relationship Between Nicole and Her Children
Nicole’s decision to leave Scientology had lasting consequences on her relationship with Isabella and Connor. Reports suggest that the Church of Scientology indoctrinated the children to view their mother as a “Suppressive Person” (SP), someone deemed harmful and to be avoided.
Former Scientology members, such as Sam Domingo and Leah Remini, have provided insights into this dynamic. Remini recounted a troubling interaction with the children in her memoir, Troublemaker. During a car ride, she asked Isabella and Connor if they had recently seen Nicole, to which Isabella replied:
“Not if I have a choice. Our mom is an SP.”
Domingo further revealed how the church allegedly employed harsh techniques to influence the children, ensuring they aligned with its doctrines. This indoctrination strained not only Nicole’s bond with her children but also reinforced the control Scientology held over Tom and his extended family.
Moving Forward Despite the Challenges
Despite the challenges, Nicole has maintained a composed and respectful approach regarding her children and their choices. She rarely speaks publicly about the strained relationship, opting to keep her focus on her personal growth and other family members.
While the complexities of faith, power, and family loyalty played significant roles in shaping Nicole and Tom’s lives, the enduring impact of these choices continues to spark interest and debate. Nicole’s resilience in navigating these challenges demonstrates her strength and commitment to her values, even in the face of great personal loss.
