A new mother, facing the challenge of returning to work while managing a newborn, sought assistance from her 64-year-old mother. She hoped her mother would step in as a babysitter, believing that her own mother would be the perfect solution given her homemaking experience since 1992. However, the grandmother expressed reluctance to take on a full-time babysitting role.
The elderly woman, who had already raised her own children, felt that she was too old for the demanding job. She suggested that if her daughter wanted to have a baby while working, she should have considered staying at home, as she and her husband had done in the past. The grandmother believed that the new mother and her partner should find a way to manage within their own means, similar to how her generation had done.
Financial Strain and the New Mother’s Concerns
The new mother, 29, faced significant financial pressures due to the aftermath of the pandemic and its impact on their finances. She detailed her financial situation, highlighting a yearly income of $55,000, with $39,000 in student loans and $20,000 in various debts. Her partner earned $36,000 annually and had $5,000 in credit card debt. Their combined financial strain made it impractical for her to stop working.
Living in a small one-bedroom apartment, the couple had plans to move to a larger home once their financial situation improved. Every dollar was crucial to them, making the cost of an additional car seat and stroller for babysitting, as well as compensating her mother, a significant concern. The new mother felt that her mother’s demands for babysitting compensation were unreasonable and would further burden their already strained finances.
The Grandmother’s Terms for Babysitting
The grandmother’s request included a rate of $20 per hour for babysitting, along with additional fees for late pick-ups and transportation. She also asked for a car seat and stroller, along with compensation for driving the child back to her own home. Given that she had only visited her daughter’s apartment once in five years and had personal reasons for not doing so frequently, these terms seemed burdensome to the new mother.
Faced with the high costs of meeting her mother’s demands, the new mother considered alternative options, including enrolling her baby in an infant care center. This choice appeared more feasible and affordable, given her financial constraints.
Reddit’s Reaction to the Situation
The new mother took to Reddit for advice, questioning whether she was wrong for not wanting to pay her mother for babysitting. She added that her mother’s activities were limited to watching TV and cooking, which she felt did not justify the high cost of babysitting. The response from Reddit users was overwhelmingly critical.
Many users chastised the new mother, suggesting that she should not have had children if she could not afford proper care. They also criticized her for not discussing the babysitting arrangement with her mother earlier in her pregnancy, when it would have been more appropriate to make such plans.
Disapproval of the New Mother’s Attitude
Redditors’ comments reflected strong disapproval of the new mother’s attitude towards her mother’s role and compensation demands. Many felt that the grandmother, having retired and having already raised her own children, had every right to refuse such an arrangement. The critical feedback emphasized that child care is a demanding job, deserving of respect and appropriate compensation. This backlash underlined the importance of addressing such arrangements thoughtfully and respectfully.
